sociallyawkward.

i was seriously a horrible student my whole school career until now until i wanted to change (to the point where i almost didn’t graduate high school).  so i did, and now let’s just say i have a goal grade-wise.  i’m perfectly happy with the grades im getting cuz i worked hard for them and if i have slackked off and got any lower, then the only person i have to blame is myself and im fine with that.  that minus is just an f’n tease to me.  or a pesky little mosquito you can’t get rid of.

and boy do i HATE mosquitos.

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”

“They only live to get radical.”

“Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?”

“If you want the ultimate, you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It’s not tragic to die doing what you love.”

Surf on Bodhi.

So many things to say about this picture. Sad, of course, but beautiful. Made me stare for a while and just think so many things about life. I’m not going to go into what was going through my head at that time, but I hope you can take something from this.

okay time to go on a rant here.

lately i’ve been really irritated.  im not going to reveal too many details, but let’s just say it involves a lack of professionalism in one’s work.  in fact as a disclaimer, i have seen it in various people recently which really triggered this rant.

for those of you who know me well, it takes ALOT to get me irritated, pissed off, angry, mad, annoyed..whatever.  i’m generally a patient, understanding, optimistic…we’ll let’s just say that if something was done wrong and they had a reasonable excuse or even have since apologized i’m usually the first one to forgive, forget, and move on.

if people have certain ticks that cannot be helped that may annoy people, i can probably be okay with it.  it’s those certain “habits” that effect other people negatively most of the time that get on my nerves.  for instance: being late.  okay, now i understand that most of the time when someone is late there is usually an excuse that you cannot help: emergency, traffic, forces of God, etc.  those i can understand.  i even understand the fact if you honestly forgot about it a couple of times.  but when the problem becomes a constant pain in the ass that doesn’t seem to even WANT to try and fix itself or even explains itself, THAT’S when i start getting upset.  What’s even worse is when your job is somewhat on the line.  it’s one thing to miss a first half of a movie, it’s another thing to not be a professional and not respect deadlines & urgency, not be in contact, obviously avoid situations, not being responsible, not upholding appointments/meeting times, not being able to explain themselves…even lying to other people about it.  You just DON’T do that shit in a real working environment.  Personally, if I were a boss and someone had a reasonable excuse for something like being late then it’s not so much of a big issue.  It starts becoming an issue if it slows things down, an urgency has been communicated, it becomes constant to the point that it’s chronic, it effects other people and/or their work, and it just seems like you don’t give a shit.  I’m sure it’s like this too in many other industries and also depending on your bosses/nature of your job, but at least in the film and tv industries if you’re ever late with something you’re fucked.  the whole production is delayed, money is lost, jobs and lives are affected, you’ll probably be fired, not be able to have them as a good reference, and most of the time be black listed and may never work in the industry again.  Even with forces of God you need to make sure you have other options in order to cover your ass.

Granted, my situation may seem not as dire as I just described to some.  I mean, I’m just a nobody in the whole spectrum of the professional world.  But the basic principles of being able to work, doing your job, and being responsible are still in place.

I am a pretty laid back sort of guy.  I’m even willing to go out of my way to help someone get something done.  i even have the ability to separate how i feel about someone i work with with how i feel about the same person in a non-work related, personal setting.  But honestly it’s behavior like this that makes me want to lose all respect for a person inside and outside of work.  As far as I’m concerned, those are the type of people I would never work with again.

Oh and what’s worse…these people were my friends and some i even referred.  that hurts…a lot.